Even simple warm affection feels weird,

uncalled for, unwelcome,

from a certain perspective.

The nervousness that means I care a

lot more than usual's usually

taken as wrong and unattractive,

maybe pathetic, maybe frightening. No

one ever says any of these things,

but I read eyes.

No one seems to know that it would

be so easy to dispel that nervousness.

When I'm not in a relationship,

I have the luxury of liking whoever I want,

but I still feel guilty. Why?

Because... desire.


Are you going to reject me as a person

because I care a lot more than usual?

Because I think highly of you?

Because I feel you are important?

Because I want to know you in ten years?

Because if that's why you're going to

reject me, of course I feel nervous.